


"You Just Posted Cringe, Bro!"

by NemuiNingen



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series, Promare (2019), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Boners, Comfort Food, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:20:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26508859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NemuiNingen/pseuds/NemuiNingen
Summary: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Relationships: Annoying Dog & Papyrus (Undertale), Galo Thymos / Sakamoto Ryuji
Kudos: 1





	1. Extra Sausage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jeff Bazos CEO of Amazon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Jeff+Bazos+CEO+of+Amazon).



Ryuji was hungy.

He picked up the phone and dialed 119 (because that's the emergency number in Japan, weebs). "Hello, yes I'd like to order one big sausage pizza," he said enthusiastically when the line connected. A sultry, handsome voice was on the other line.

"Sir, this is a fire department."

"In that case, help! Oh god, I have a fire here. And send your cutest fireman!" Ryuji hung up.

Later that day, he heard a knock at his door. "Hello, fire department. Here with a big sausage pizza for uhhh...well I didn't get your name, buddy, but we traced the call so I guess this is the right place?"

Ryuji answered the door swift in nothing but his boxers and a pair and cat paw gloves. "Nya-o way! You really came?!" In the door was a sexy man with spikey blue hair, and shirtless. It was...GALO THYMOS!

"You order a big sausage pizza?"

"Please, Galo! I need your help!" Ryuji said while leaning aginst the door. "I have a fire that needs to be put out. It's in my mouth!"

"A fire in your mouth?! Well I got just the thing tuh put that out for you, Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5."

"I thought you didn't know my name!"

"Look, you want me cock in your throat, or knot?"

"Yes sir, I'll behave. Please just put out the fire!"

Galo opened the pizza box to show off his cock, slapped across a still seering hot cheese pizza. "Big sausage," he declared!

Ryuji's eyes sparkled as he got on his knees and pulled a slice away. "It's perfect," he said while crying tears of joy. "Finally, some good eefin' food." (Remember, Wuji doesn't say the f-word.) Aftwards he dived in and started licking Galo's limp dick, probably void of all feeling from roasting on hot cheese for several minutes. "Galo, thank you so much. I'm gonna put out that fire in my guts with your cum!" With that, he started sucking on Glao Thymos from Promare's dick.

Galo Thymos from Promare grabbed Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5's head with both hands and began thrusting into his mouth. THe pizza and the box fell to the ground, a sloppy, hot mess. But it smelled good. He was panting, and panting, and PANTING. The fireman's cock got bigger, fatter, and heavier the longer it was in the tight confines of RYuji Sakamoto from Persona 5's throat. "Yeah, that's it, buddy. Come on, we gotta put out that fire in yuh."

With one big heavy thrust, he pushed his cock all the way in until his balls slapped against Ryuji's chin and pumped into 15 spurts of cum from his 30in cock.

"Now that's some "Skull" Fucking. ;3c"


	2. Bone Hurting Juice (2016)

The crisp winter air stung in a delightful fashion much like when bacon spits into your pubic hair from the grill. Snow fell with the grace of spaghetti being thrown against the wall. It was indeed a pleasant day as Annoying Dog frolicked across the winter field with its tongue hanging out and flopping around much like a dildo after it’s been half-melted in the dishwasher. The scenery was that of a child’s storybook, painted in fifty shades of white and with the animal's fur as fluffy and shimmery as hot urine running down the shower walls. Each flake was as unique as every fourteen year old on Tumblr, and maybe even every smokey-eye makeup tutorial on YouTube.

Then there was Annoying Dog. Yes, indeed this animal was as cute as it was useless. Its tiny body only made it the perfect sized practice soccer ball that would even return itself to you. As it pranced through the snow, Annoying Dog could only think about one thing:  **_MASS MURDER!_ ** It’s only desire for the holiday was to feast on the carcass of a single victim and crush its very soul into oblivion, much like the person who commissioned this fic in the first place. In the holiday spirit of complaining, Annoying Dog let out a wine due to its rotten luck, as well as some frozen cheese. No life had been discovered yet to destory! The poor thing was about to start crying and call it quits until it saw the faint silhouette of what caused joy to wash over him with the intensity of the floodwaters of the Sahara Dessert.

Sweet whistling could be heard up ahead. It was coming from a tall figure wearing a scarf that flapped in the wind like a dog’s tongue flapping in the wind like a dildo that had been accidentally half-melted in the dishwasher. Though skinny, Annoying Dog knew this was its only chance, and he would take it! The wild beast charged ahead with the confidence of a drunk teenager cursing out a police officer! His tongue flapped in the wind like a scarf flapping like a dog’s tongue. Snow kicked up in smol clumps. Annoying Dog was already practicing for when he’d be pressing and stomping in the guts of the sad, unsuspecting victim before him. It was his truest of enemies: THE ONE, THE ONLY...PAPYRUS!

There was no stopping him. When Papyrus knelt all for the sake of giving that annoying shit-fer-brains dog some lovin’ headpats, he’d just be faced with his doom! The beast chopped his hand clean off, ripping the bone from the socket. Skeleton blood sprayed, staining the snow a scarlet pink. Papyrus cried out, clinging to the remains of his wrist bones. “How will I make spaghetti, now?” he screamed in horror before a sudden meatball rained down on him, landing right in his eye socket.

SURPRISE! IT WAS RAINING SPAGHETTI!

Annoying Dog yipped and yapped as he pounced, taking one of Papyrus’s femurs. He would send that bag of bones toppling over into an early grave. The bone daddy would be no more! His days of being a fearless defender of the underworld were coming to an end as Annoying Dog snapped Papyrus's boner in its powerful jaws.

The mighty bone man prayed to his God, Toby Fox, for salvation and mercy, wanting his suffering to end. “Oh Lord who hath created me in your image, please spare me this agony. Deliver me from this hell and I shall cook thee a thousand plates of the finest pasta in the underworld worthy of being displayed in an art gallery!” It was no use. Annoying Dog was ripping him the shreds, boner by boner until he was just a pile of carnage skeleton guts. “Surely my life could not know more pain than this? What a cruel underworld we live in.”

PLOT TWIST!

Annoying Dog had a GUN! The precious puffball puppy aimed right at Papyrus’s discarded skull, laughing sensually. Not that Papyrus could see, having two meatballs in his eye sockets, and no eyes to begin with. Still, he screamed, cried like a baby until Annoying Dog pulled the trigger. Blood and red sauce oozed from Papyrus.

The deed was done. Annoying Dog had achieved his only goal in life. Ever since puppyhood,  **_Mass Murder_ ** had been his dream, and now it was time for him to chase a new dream, a new skeleton to bother and flaut at every opportunity before ultimately sending them to the under-underworld. Today- Papyrus. Tomorrow- Comic Sans. The day after- Calibri. Next week- the total destruction of humanity!

Meanwhile, thousands of kilometers away was a lone daisy. A flower. A flowery flower, who bloomed alone in the winter soils with all it’s golden flower petals of a flower. It was flower-scented and its name was none other than...flowery. With eyes wide in confusion, it only had one thing to say. “What the shit?!”

**Author's Note:**

> I sometimes get overwhelmed and exhausted from writing 10k-30k word fanfics. So here's a dump of shitty one-shots I write to refresh my batteries. I wouldn't take these as a good representation of my writing capabilities, or my beliefs. Usually, I'm just drunk and stupid.


End file.
